How to Unwind When Anxiety Takes Over
Practical, compassionate ways to calm your mind and body
You know the feeling — your heart is racing, your thoughts are looping, and no matter how hard you try to “just relax,” your body refuses to follow. Maybe it’s after a long workday, or in the middle of the night when your mind won’t turn off. Anxiety has a way of hijacking both our thoughts and our bodies, leaving us exhausted, tense, and disconnected from ourselves.
The good news? You can learn to unwind — not by forcing calm, but by gently teaching your nervous system that it’s safe to slow down again.
Start With Your Body — Not Your Thoughts
When anxiety takes over, your body believes there’s danger. Trying to “think your way out of it” rarely works until your body feels safe again.
Exhale first. Long, slow exhales signal your brain that the threat has passed.
Drop your shoulders. Notice where you’re holding tension — jaw, chest, neck — and release.
Move gently. Stretch, walk, or shake your hands out. Movement tells your body it’s safe to transition.
Think of this as pressing the “reset” button on your nervous system — a physical shift before a mental one.
Anchor Into the Present Moment
Anxiety pulls us into the what-ifs of the future or the regrets of the past. Grounding helps bring you back to right now.
Try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding tool:
5 things you see
4 things you feel
3 things you hear
2 things you smell
1 thing you taste or appreciate
When you reconnect to your senses, your mind begins to trust that this moment — not the imagined one — is where you are safe.
Create a “Calm Kit” for When It Hits
When anxiety hits hard, decision-making becomes nearly impossible. Prepare a few comforting tools in advance — a “calm kit” you can reach for without thinking:
A soothing playlist
A weighted blanket
Lavender lotion or candle
Herbal tea
A list of grounding affirmations
A note that says, “You’ve felt this before — and you got through it.”
Having something tangible ready helps you interrupt anxiety before it spirals.
Replace Pressure With Permission
Anxiety thrives on “shoulds”:
“I should be calm.”
“I should have handled that better.”
“I should be over this by now.”
Those thoughts fuel shame, not peace. When you notice them, try saying instead:
“It’s okay that I feel this way.”
“I’m doing my best in this moment.”
Permission softens the edges of panic and opens the door to self-compassion — the true antidote to anxiety.
Understand What’s Happening Inside
Anxiety is not weakness — it’s your brain’s alarm system doing its job a little too well. When we understand what’s happening physiologically, it becomes less scary.
Your amygdala (the fear center) sounds the alarm, while your prefrontal cortex (the logic center) takes a backseat. Breathing, grounding, and gentle movement help bring the logical part of your brain back online. The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety — it’s to regulate it.
Make Calm a Daily Habit
You don’t have to wait until anxiety is at full volume to care for yourself. Incorporating small calming rituals daily can prevent anxiety from building:
Step outside for sunlight and fresh air.
Limit caffeine or scrolling when you feel tense.
Build 10 minutes of quiet — no multitasking, no pressure.
Check in with your body during transitions (before school drop-off, before a session, before bed).
These moments of mindfulness accumulate — creating nervous system resilience over time.
Reach Out for Support
Sometimes anxiety becomes so overwhelming that it feels impossible to calm down alone. That doesn’t mean you’re failing — it means you’re human.
Therapy can help you learn what your body and mind need to regulate again. Through understanding your triggers, building coping strategies, and reshaping how you relate to your thoughts, you can experience life with more ease and trust in yourself.
Final Thoughts
Unwinding from anxiety isn’t about forcing relaxation. It’s about learning to listen — to your body’s signals, your emotions, and your need for care. With patience, practice, and support, you can teach your nervous system to return to calm more easily, even in stressful moments.
Rooted Counseling offers individual and family therapy in Folsom and Loomis.
Reach out today to learn how we can help you or your loved one find balance, calm, and connection.
Written by Heather Peterson, LMFT